You know those emergency kits people keep in their car? Flashlight, first aid, blanket — stuff you hope you never need but probably will?

This beanie is like that, except instead of preparing for disasters, you're announcing that you are the disaster and everyone should probably have a protocol ready.

Bad hair day? Disaster protocol. Didn't sleep? Disaster protocol. Existing in public while chaotic? Activated.

This is for those who've accepted they're the emergency other people need to prepare for — and have gotten very comfortable with that responsibility.